À La Craig's 'Missed Connections'

posted on january 23, 2003, tag: random

You: Three women and one man. About 35 years a piece. One of you looked a bit younger, though. You were the stupid douchebags talking extremely loudly about your stupid fucking lives at 8:30AM on the New York-bound NJ Transit train. You didn't realize you were the only fuckoffs talking on the whole train you fucking bastards.

Specifically She: The loudest of you cocksuckers. The one wearing a skiing hat from the early nineties and a shit-eating grin, who kept saying, "I was like..." and "I mean, like..." wherein the ellipses lead to her laughing by herself at nothing.

Me: A guy, tired as all hell, trying to get an extra hour of sleep on a normally peaceful and quiet train. I was wearing the Gap shirt and the "Fuck off you motherfuckers" face.

Them: Everyone else on the train who now knows that one of you got ripped off by a contractor, and the other guy had a pseudo-humorous battle with a raccoon the other night in his attic.

[I went ahead and actually posted this to Craig's List as well. — Ed.]