Write For the Movies
posted on january 14, 2003, tag: entertainment
Dear Michael Crichton,
I've just finished reading your latest novel, Prey. I thought I would take a few moments to give you my opinions and thoughts on this book.
First of all, we know it's a novel. I'm sure you had nothing to do with the cover design, but maybe you could get in touch with Harper Collins Publishers next time you have them publish a book and tell them it's not necessary to write "A Novel" on the cover. I don't think anyone is picking up the book and asking others what it is. "Is this a shovel?" "No, I believe that's a novel." "Well, I won't believe that until I see proof." I think you get my point. If not, just consider the fact that most film posters or covers tend not to say "A Film" on them. Granted, there are probably a few people in the world that occasionally walk into Blockbuster looking for cat litter, but I think it's still safe to assume most people know about these things. Also, on a related subject, could you please ask shampoo companies to stop putting directions on their bottles? Lather, rinse, repeat. We get it. Homeless people get it.
Anyway, about the book:
We all know Prey will be made into a film. Hell, it's probably in production right now. But let me guess—you didn't write the screenplay, did you? I knew it. See, the problem is, you did. The damned book is a screenplay! Front to back, the thing reads so much like a film that I actually found myself yelling "Cut!" when I didn't like the way things were going.
You have this problem with writing excellent novels that get turned into shitty movies. And they're all written by other people. And you're a writer. That seems odd. Do you lack the ability to write in screenplay format? Do INT and EXT confuse and/or frighten you? If so, I think a forty dollar community college course could set you straight. Hell, I'll teach you for free. The problem is, it's so easy that people who shouldn't be writing your book to film translations are! They know the structure, sure, but not the material. I have an idea: hire a college dropout to type the screenplay as you walk around your house in your boxer shorts drinking vodka and spitting it out.
Also: The picture on the back cover isn't fooling anyone. You were born in 1942 (as it says opposite the picture), yet that photo makes you look like you are 25. You're turning 61 this year, Mike—it's okay to look it. Stop letting them airbrush you into a smiling robot from the late eighties. I mean, for chrissakes they did such a heavy job this time getting the wrinkles and sagging flesh out of your neck and forehead that you look like you're made of plastic! Are you a cyborg?
On the subject of robots, though, the book was good. It was a bit shorter than usual, and I feel you're less accurate at telling a story when you use first-person. But that's okay. It was nice to have a shot back to Rising Sun. Same format, yeah? Asians were replaced with nano-machines, though. That was smart.
And they were too (smart, that is (the nano-machines)). You've got such an ability to take a subject and, no matter how complicated, make it seem completely understandable. Not in a dumbed-down way, either, which is nice. You choose topics that are entirely interesting and present them in an even more interesting fasion. Your themes are great (humans are ill prepared, lots of little mistakes can cause horrible outcomes, people don't think, technology can be our enemy, etcetera). I love you.
While it's true that the cover image of a nano-machine "swarm" looks like an illustration from a Shel Silverstein book (was Prey a disgustingly funny tribute to that rhyming bastard?), I liked the "novel" none the less. Maybe even more. Now all you have to do is write the screenplay and give those homeless people a break.
Good work, Mike.
Your friend,
Garrett Murray
FADE TO BLACK. (See, it's easy!)
Comments
There are 4 comments, comments are closed
steve on 01/15/2003:
I was agreeing with you about why doesn't he just write the screenplays himself. As a writer he should write them. Maybe he just thinks he's above that.
What I was trying to say is that there is no way to mess up Prey in an adaption. I could have my sister write the screenplay and you wouldn't notice a difference.
It's hard to just agree with you on the idea of writing something just to read. It needs to be a 500-page mesh of complicated storylines and characters. Because if it isn't, why not just make the movie and forget the novel? In my opinion a lot of the best novels out there have adapted movies. But most people agree with the coined phrase about them: "The movie is nothing like the book." It's because there is so much in a novel that needs to be cut out to shorten it to a good 2 hour movie.
I like to think of novels this way: Novels go beyond movies and immerce you into a bigger story, greater complications, stronger characters. People like this about novels. I like this about novels.
I didn't like the The Lost World either because it had 2 major flaws. 1) It wasn't good and 2) I don't like sequels that are mere afterthoughts on the sucess of the original.
But the problem with Prey was that it was a good original thought. It was never expanded into a novel though. Minus the INT and FADE TO BLACK what he wrote was a solid screenplay. I'm not saying movies are evil and any good story must be a novel, but I wanted more from this novel. To take such a good topic and write such a predictable book is a shame.
steve on 01/15/2003:
I also agree with you about the Speed 2 reference. You are right about that. The Lost World was a better fit. I can't think of one off the top of my head, but think of a movie that had good characters, a good set up, a good plot, but fell into a predictable formula and ended kinda weak.
steve on 01/15/2003:
I agree with everything you said about the book. I couldn't say I disliked it, but I wish I could. Granted, it was a great story, interesting plot and, as always as Garrett pointed out, he always takes a scientific field of study and makes the subject interesting to the masses. Yet, at the same time I feel it was a bad book because I've read other books by him. I feel like a gun was held to his head forcing him to write it just to get it published. It felt rushed. It felt too dumbed down. It's the "Speed 2" of novels by Michael Crichton. If another author wrote it, it would be a good book. But with the name Crichton on the cover I expected more from a $25 book I read in a day. I should have just waited for the movie. I would have only spent $9 and lost nothing in the adaptation.
Garrett on 01/15/2003:
The Speed 2[: Cruise Control] of novels? That's a bit harsh. I would assign that title to The Lost World, not this.
I don't know that it felt rushed... I think he was just writing a book that was meant to be kept short and sweet (and it was). You can't think that every time he sits down to write he does so with the intention of writing a 500-page complicated masterpiece. I think sometimes he writes just for the enjoyment of telling a story. To give us something to read. I think this was one of those times.
Also, the cover price for the book is a bit high, I agree. Especially when it's a guaranteed seller like Crichton's are.
Oh, and your comment about not losing anything in the adaptation goes against everything I wrote. The problem with Crichton-book-based-films is that you lose a lot in the adaptation!