More 'Pulling a Jackie Chan'
posted on september 16, 2003, tag: random
When Shawn and I were talking about this the other day, I forgot to mention that "pulling a Jackie Chan" also works for other life obstacles:
Lost your keys? Locked out? Have a bathroom window on the second story you always leave open that's a few feet away from a corner where two walls meet? Simple—run to the wall, kick off one, then kick off the other side of the corner, and so on, until you reach the window. Then slide through in one smooth motion.
In handcuffs? Jump up in the air, and while in said air, bring your hands under your feet and around to the front of your body. You're still in handcuffs, sure, but now they're in front of you.
On the roof of a three-story building (or one of roughly the same height) and need to get down quickly? Grab that rope over there, tie one end to something that will hold your weight. and coil the other end quickly around that bucket. When it's done, kick the bucket out of the way, step into the center of the coil, and pull the coiled rope up onto your waist. Step to the edge of the building, look back at where you tied the rope and tug on it a few times to make sure it's gonna hold and so some of that powder can fly off it like it always does in the movies. Then, leap off the building such that you're in the air sideways (like you're lying down) and the rope coiled around you will spin you down toward the ground. With any luck, the rope was exactly long enough to place you comfortably on the ground. You'll be dizzy, so cross your eyes and walk crooked for a bit.
I don't even need to mention jumping from building to building over wide alleys, swinging on chains in Nazi gold-storage caves, hanging from a ladder from a helicopter as it rams you into billboards or driving Hovercrafts.