How I Almost Poked My Eye Out
posted on may 21, 2004, tag: me
The good news is, dear readers, as you can tell by the subject of this entry—I didn't actually poke my eye out. But I tried. Unfortunately, as with many other endeavors, I failed. It's still worth mentioning, however, that I stabbed myself in the eye with a flat-head screwdriver on Tuesday. I'm not saying that for effect or trying to make it sound worse than it was. I actually stabbed myself in the eye with a screwdriver.
They moved me to a new cubicle at work. That's not why I did it, but it's partially responsible in the long-run. My new desk had two trays attached to the under-side of each section of the L, and since I have long legs and prefer to keep my keyboard on the desktop and my pens in a drawer, I decided to remove the trays. The keyboard tray came off easily, but I was having real trouble with the other tray. It seems as though whoever put it in did so with a power tool and a fuck-this attitude. The screws were crooked and partially embedded in the metal surface of the tray's rails. I managed to get three of the four screws out, but the last one refused to budge past a certain spot.
It was the end of the day, I was annoyed, and I made a stupid mistake: I knelt and put myself at eye-level with the screw. Moments before the accident I paused and thought to myself, "You know, you might hit yourself in the face if you're not careful here." So, to avoid this possibility, I rotated the rail around so it was blocking the screw. This way, if my driver slipped, it would hit the rail and save me from injury. Oh, how I wish that had worked. Feeling safe and frustrated at this bastard screw who wouldn't budge from its spot, I put as much torque into it as I could. Things quickly went wrong.
The moment the screw became un-stuck, the rail twisted with it and moved out of the way. At the exact same time, the driver slipped from the screw and all of that torque was directed at my left eye. With an amazing amount of force, I hit myself in the face with the sharp side of the screwdriver. I hit myself so hard it felt like I had been punched. I saw a white flash, and I instantly realized I had hit myself in the eye. I dropped the screwdriver and immediately began touching my left eye, terrified that I would find blood on my hand. Luckily, I did not.
Embarrassed, I covered my eye and walked to the restroom. In the 500-foot walk, I realized that I didn't know how the eye behaved when injured. Did it bleed? I expected to look in the mirror and see that I had cut my eye in half. The only thing keeping me from truly believing that was the fact that I could still see out of it. It couldn't be that bad, I thought. And it wasn't.
I scratched up the conjunctiva (membrane covering the white of your eye) pretty badly on the right (my left) side and about 1mm of the cornea. The doctor at the hospital said that if I hadn't jumped in reaction like I did, and had scratched the cornea like I had scratched the side, I would be blind in that eye. She also had to remove some metal flakes from in and around the scratches. After dilating my pupils and checking the optic nerve, she told me I was extremely lucky and that in most cases like this, people actually stab through their eye.
It's only been a few days and already my eye looks much better. I'm still in shock at how much force my eyeball took without serious damage, and I'm damned lucky to not have blinded myself. Next time I hear a little voice tell me that I might hurt myself, I'm going to listen to it. And no—before you ask—I didn't have to wear a patch.
Comments
There are 11 comments, comments are closed
David Ely on 05/21/2004:
When I was in high school I got hit in the eye with a lacrosse ball (it was after the meeting the day before the first day of practice and I hadn't brought my helmet). I want home and, after a few hours of waiting, realized that the vision still hadn't returned and should probably start getting worried. My dad drove me to the doctor who checked it out and said that it didn't look like I had hurt anything but that there was a danger that some things could have been jostled and could come loose. He told me not to read anything for five days as reading requires you to move your eye back and forth very rapidly. He told me I should just lie down and watch television instead of doing my homework. I actually got a note to take to school saying I wasn't allowed to read anything all week or my retina might detach!
soxiam on 05/21/2004:
Oh my. Sorry to hear about what happened. I wonder if this might make you feel better. Get well soon. By the way... are you nuts? You should've definitely gone with a patch.
Erik Price on 05/22/2004:
I read your story with horror. But I too know the feeling you get with a near-injury to the eye. It happened a couple of years ago, while watching a fireworks display in Clinton MA. Not some stunt at someone's home with fireworks purchased at South of the Border, but the town-sponsored kind with licensed pyrotechnicians with an audience of over a thousand. The wind seemed to be blowing a little stronger than it should have been for fireworks, but the show went on regardless. During the show, I noticed some people around me saying "ow!" or "they're hot!", because ashes from the fireworks were landing on us. I told my girlfriend that it's good luck if an ash lands on you (more to stave off the inevitable complaint if it did happen than out of any superstition about firework ashes).
All of the sudden, sure enough, I felt a burning in my eye. One of the ashes had landed in it. It wasn't a physical burning, I would later find that it was a chemical burn due to the materials lingering on the tiny shred of paper that had hit my eye. As I tried to tear it out and was rushed to an ambulance, I feared not only the damage that might be occurring to my eye due to the chemicals, but also the cost of the emergency room visit since I was without health insurance.
Fortunately the ash only caused a miniscule burn in the white of my eye, not on the lens, so my sight was unaffected. Also fortunate, I found out that it's possible to have emergency room/ambulance transport fees waived if you make less than a certain salary. Needless to say, I don't take such a lighthearted attitude to fireworks anymore, either.
Dan Benjamin on 05/22/2004:
Wow, that's really horrible. Glad you're OK. Can't believe you passed up the chance to wear an eye-patch.
Allen Chang on 05/23/2004:
And that is why I will continue to fear all eye-related injuries. Another story that teaches people to take your spider-sense seriously.
indieb0i on 05/25/2004:
Ouch! Your description truly made me cringe in horror. I definitely have a fear of eye-related injuries. They just seem so fragile sometimes that I'm glad for even the minimal protection my glasses provide for me. Of course I'm still reminded of Lenny and Carl in The Simpsons getting a spring stuck between their eyes - "I said don't pull! Don't pull!"
You might be interested in Gray's Anatomy. It's a monologue by Spalding Gray, and he talks all about treatment for an eye condition he developed. It even starts with some interviews with random people discussing their own injuries.
John on 05/26/2004:
Does Workman's Comp cover injuries like that?
Bryan on 06/01/2004:
Holy fuck dude. I am glad you are ok. That sucks.
I got two small stories...
- When my cousin was abou 3 or 4, he was running around and his mother went to pick him up, except she forgot she had a damn fork in her hand and stabbed him right in his eye. I guess it was so bad that his eye just looked like a white glob. Somehow, someway, he has good vision and you never would have known he had a fork stuck in his eye.
- My fiance about 6 months ago was dying her hair. Well, they say, don't get that dye in your eyes. Well, sure enough, one strand of her hair went flying when she turned her head and his her eye. She kinda freaked, but washed her eye out.. She still felt something was in her eye, so we ended up going to the emergency room and after they did a few tests and put some ink in her eye that actually glowed under a black light, it turne dout she had a chemical burn. Very minor, but they put these optical tubes in her eyes and had to flush her eye out. It looked very uncomfortable and I felt very badly for what my fiance was going through. She is ok now, but still it was scary.
I hope you get better.
Nice site btw. I will be frequenting this quite a bit.
Andrew on 06/03/2004:
omg.... I can feel chill down my spine as I'm reading your entry, glad that you were fine. You wouldn't want to end up like the girl in Kill Bill 2. ~.~
swimp on 06/09/2004:
I jammed my foot into a golf peg deliberately once—won't do it again :)
Garrett on 06/11/2004:
I loved all the stories, thanks everyone. My eye is completely healed now!