Life With Garrett
posted on february 7, 2005, tag: guest entries
This is a 5th grade-style essay about living with Garrett. Garrett is my boyfriend. We have been living together for 2 years on February 1st. There are good things and bad things about living with Garrett.
In the morning, I have to wake Garrett up so he can go to work. It takes about 25 minutes. I have to tell him to get up at five minute intervals. I try to be gentle. I say, "Wake up, Sugar-Face." Or, "Time take a shower, Love Bunny." He responds with, "Five more minutes," and more than a few times, "five more minutes, Mom!"
During the day, I call Garrett on the phone from my office. About 10-15 times. Sometimes I call to say "Hi" and then I don't have anything interesting to say. Then, Garrett gets mad. Sometimes, I call to ask a computer question. Then, Garrett gets mad. Sometimes, I call Garrett to try to make plans for upcoming weekends, weeknights, et cetera. Then, Garrett gets mad. You get the idea.
At the end of the day, I call Garrett one last time to ask him what he'd like to have for dinner. Without fail, he says that he doesn't know. In the two and a half years we've dated, he has never known what he'd like to have for dinner. After some arguing, we agree to see each other at home.
Garrett gets home before I do and proceeds into his computer room to spend some much needed alone-time with his computer. When I come home—about 30 minutes after him—he has accomplished quite a lot. If clicking on websites and reading dumb links put hot food on the table, then I'd have a feast waiting for me every night. But I don't.
Then, we have dinner. One of us will cook it because our kitchen is small and Garrett is big and has a hard time sharing a small space. I don't because I'm small, but most of the time we cook separately. After dinner, I do the dishes. Garrett never does the dishes because he is allergic to dish soap. It's a crippling disability that causes him much hardship, but I try to be supportive.
For the rest of the night we sit around petting our cats, watching TV and enjoying each other's company. Then, I go to sleep and leave Garrett to have some alone time so that he can eat all the cookies in the house, shoot zombies and watch episodes of The Family Guy (which he has repeatedly promised NOT to watch without me).
In conclusion, Garrett is the best roommate I've ever had. He always cleans the bathroom, never snores or asks me to watch masculine-type sporting events. As a boyfriend he's not too shabby either. He likes cats, occasionally watches romantic comedies (Rom-Coms) and tells me I'm pretty, on cue.
The End.
Comments
There are 11 comments, comments are closed
mathewhoy@gmail.com on 02/08/2005:
teehee! a fun post by katia. i'd hate to read what my wife has to say about me..? :(
Jonathan Smith on 02/08/2005:
Great post! I can relate to being mad at all the computer questions and phone calls (for me it was emails) while I'm at work. Never lived with anyone though. Sometimes I wonder if I ever could.
Visceraman1 on 02/08/2005:
I shudder thinking what my wife would write.
hijiki on 02/08/2005:
if relationships have dopplegangers, yours is mine. i'm sure my girlfriend would change only a few words.
Paige on 02/08/2005:
Aww that was so cute. So cute that I want to dig my eyes out with a rusty spoon.
Jasmeet on 02/09/2005:
Aww, that's cute
Kevin LaCoste on 02/13/2005:
Good stuff! Why is it that we get mad so easily? And why do girls continue to do these things day after day? They must enjoy it...
Ashleigh on 02/16/2005:
Ahh Katia, I feel for you. Garrett is my brother. Living with Garrett is a strange, yet very entertaining situation. Though I do not remember him being as "alone-time oriented", I do remember his need for computer/video game time. There are little things that Garrett does which make him so unique that I feel I should, as the younger sister, explain to the world (Sorry Garrett).
While he no longer has this problem, he went through a phase where he was not brushing his teeth as reguarly as one would hope for. We were cleaning out our bathroom closet and he held out a toothbrush and asked me, "Whose toothbrush is this??" and, as a little part of me died inside, I could only look back at him and say, "It's yours."
Garrett once bought a computer chair that he was quite fond of. Though there was no back to it and you had to sit with your feet underneath your butt falling asleep every ten minutes, he sat in that chair with pride because no one else had it.
Garrett and I would jump on the trampoline for hours playing Power Rangers (he was the Green Ranger, Tommy and I was the Pink Ranger, I can't remember her name) and Garrett was so committed to the part that he grew his hair out just like Tommy.
Once, when we were on vacation with our father, Garrett picked up an earring from the ground and when we were about four hours into the ride home I told our Dad that he stole it and we had to drive all the way back (I cried for hours about that one).
Garrett was a very lucky child. Our Grandmother purchased a computer for him to the tune of about $4,000.00, and I recieved about $6.00 for a pair of pants I had mentioned to our Grandmother in a random conversation. Garrett was asked, in return for the computer, to clean pinecones off of our Grandmother's roof, and though I recieved a mere $6.00, I had to help him.
Garrett would set his alarm for three hours before he had to actually wake up and sleep through the extremely loud music when we were in high school. Because of Garrett's inability to wake up on his own, we frequently missed the first class period and our mom yelled at us daily for this.
Though I do not live with Garrett anymore, every time I hear extremely loud music for hours at end, my legs fall asleep because of an uncomfortable chair, I find a random toothbrush in my bathroom closet, or see a Power Rangers action figure, I think of the good old days when we were growing up. Enjoy it Katia, he is one in a million.
Garrett on 02/16/2005:
I wish I could deny most of that. But I can't. Although I will clarify the following:
- As yelled at you and mom several times, I didn't know it was my toothbrush because I though another toothbrush was mine. It turns out I had been using yours for a year. I was brushing!
- The computer was only $1,600.00. The rest of that is true (you getting only 6 but still having to help me).
- I never successfully grew my hair to "Tommy the Green Ranger length." And I liked him better as the White Ranger.
It's also worth mentioning that most of what you complained about took place when we were kids, even though it for some reason sounds like present-day complaints.
Although I still do pretend to be Tommy from time to time.
Naikrovek on 03/02/2005:
i think my fiance would really relate to this. i want alone-time but get the silent treatment for 48 hours straight if i ever take it (permission is never given, because i know not to ask).
i never ever know what i want for dinner, which drives my fiance nuts. i don't understand this because when i ask her what she wants, she always answers the same way: "I don't know." i think maybe she wants to have the same as me, and is asking me for anything at all i want, but i never know. she is angry by the time i realize this.
I don't call her enough which i need to work on, but she calls me twice a day, which is perfect.
i wake up at the alarm, but i always miss my ride to work and have to drive. usually it is because i sit there after waking up, wishing i could just lie down again. i usually sit there on the edge of the bed, at the edge of sleep for 30 mins or so. i never get enough sleep.
my fiance is home before i get home so i don't get the luxury of computer-time after work. i pay for game subscriptions, but can't play them during the week, nor during the day on weekends, so i have to play during time that i would normally sleep. even if i'm doing paid web work i usually have to do it while my fiance is sleeping, at night, on weekends. sometimes on weekends she lets me sleep in though, which is nice, but i think i've only ever woken up on my own twice in the past three months. when i wake up on my own it means i've gotten enough sleep. i almost never get enough sleep.
my fiance is beautiful, our baby is beautiful and our cats are quite lovely also. i'm lucky. i just wish that i could get enough sleep every day, and have my dinners chosen for me every evening. i think everything else in my life that annoys me would diminish in significance quite a bit if i could get a full nights sleep every night.
elfhaiku on 03/30/2005:
I started out searching for photos of Taormina, Sicily, because my parents are there. Then I found Garrett's flickr page, on which he has posted loads of Taormina photos. I saw his girlfriend holding black sand. I wondered who these people were. then I went to his website, then I found this funny yet informative post, penned by his girlfriend Katia herself. Somehow it makes the internet come to life when you start out looking for something and you wind up finding out about people you never dreamed of...anyway, a hello from Boulder Colorado. I have to wash the dishes because my wife cooks, because she hates the dishes. But that's okay, since I don't like to cook. We live in a small space too, a mobile home. She could write some pretty funny things about me as well. We've only been married since June...