Life With Garrett

11 comments (closed), posted on february 7, 2005, tags: guest entries

This is a 5th grade-style essay about living with Garrett. Garrett is my boyfriend. We have been living together for 2 years on February 1st. There are good things and bad things about living with Garrett.

In the morning, I have to wake Garrett up so he can go to work. It takes about 25 minutes. I have to tell him to get up at five minute intervals. I try to be gentle. I say, "Wake up, Sugar-Face." Or, "Time take a shower, Love Bunny." He responds with, "Five more minutes," and more than a few times, "five more minutes, Mom!"

During the day, I call Garrett on the phone from my office. About 10-15 times. Sometimes I call to say "Hi" and then I don't have anything interesting to say. Then, Garrett gets mad. Sometimes, I call to ask a computer question. Then, Garrett gets mad. Sometimes, I call Garrett to try to make plans for upcoming weekends, weeknights, et cetera. Then, Garrett gets mad. You get the idea.

At the end of the day, I call Garrett one last time to ask him what he'd like to have for dinner. Without fail, he says that he doesn't know. In the two and a half years we've dated, he has never known what he'd like to have for dinner. After some arguing, we agree to see each other at home.

Garrett gets home before I do and proceeds into his computer room to spend some much needed alone-time with his computer. When I come home—about 30 minutes after him—he has accomplished quite a lot. If clicking on websites and reading dumb links put hot food on the table, then I'd have a feast waiting for me every night. But I don't.

Then, we have dinner. One of us will cook it because our kitchen is small and Garrett is big and has a hard time sharing a small space. I don't because I'm small, but most of the time we cook separately. After dinner, I do the dishes. Garrett never does the dishes because he is allergic to dish soap. It's a crippling disability that causes him much hardship, but I try to be supportive.

For the rest of the night we sit around petting our cats, watching TV and enjoying each other's company. Then, I go to sleep and leave Garrett to have some alone time so that he can eat all the cookies in the house, shoot zombies and watch episodes of The Family Guy (which he has repeatedly promised NOT to watch without me).

In conclusion, Garrett is the best roommate I've ever had. He always cleans the bathroom, never snores or asks me to watch masculine-type sporting events. As a boyfriend he's not too shabby either. He likes cats, occasionally watches romantic comedies (Rom-Coms) and tells me I'm pretty, on cue.

The End.